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来源:京东专家    发布时间:2019年09月23日 13:56:01    编辑:admin         

Want to stop humor in its tracks? Its easy to take aim at a punch line and kill a joke.想要制止幽默的发生?要瞄准并制止一个笑话是非常容易的事情。You Will Need你需要Joke笑话Inappropriate occasion不合时宜的场景Subtle mistakes细微的错误Annoying individual令人讨厌的个人Friend朋友Steps步骤Step 1 Pick your moment1.选择时机Choose an inappropriate time to blurt out the joke -- any occasion when its guaranteed to bomb. Once the jokes shown to be a dud, itll be dead forever.选择一个不合时宜的时机脱口而出说漏嘴——在这个笑话的笑点即将显露的任何时候。一旦这个笑话没用了,也就永远不可能继续下去了。Step 2 Get it wrong2.出错Tell the joke repeatedly when youre near its creator. Make subtle mistakes each time you tell it, so the joke doesnt quite land, and the creator eventually gets frustrated enough to declare the joke dead.多次重复在这个笑话的创始人附近讲这个笑话。每次讲的时候都犯一点细微的错误,所以这个笑话并不是很成功,这样,创始人就会觉得很沮丧,最终放弃。Step 3 Dissect it3.详细分析Break down exactly what makes the joke a joke. Analyze the setup and punch line, explaining its plausibility and meaning in excruciating detail -- by the time you finish, people will be too bored to care about the joke anymore.详细剖析这个笑话的笑点。分析其结构和妙语,极为详尽地解释其论据和意思——当你结束的时候,人们已经感觉非常枯燥,根本就不再关心这个笑话了。Be careful: though youll have killed the joke, dissecting it may make people want to kill you.小心:尽管你可能会消灭这个笑话,详细剖析这个笑话可能会让人们想要杀了你。Step 4 Give it a bad name4.坏名声Find a particularly annoying individual and share the joke with them. Encourage them to repeat the joke incessantly -- soon, anyone who tells the joke will risk being associated with the stink of lameness.找一个非常讨厌的人,和他们分享这个笑话。鼓励他们不停地讲这个笑话——很快,任何讲这个笑话的人都会被迫和污浊的名声联系起来。Step 5 Laugh hard5.尴尬地大笑When you tell the joke, have a friend laugh with an awkward, forced guffaw that makes everyone else uncomfortable and shines a spotlight on just how unfunny the joke is in the first place.当你讲故事的时候,让一个朋友尴尬的,歇斯底里地大笑,让其他人都感到不舒,让人们意识到这个笑话从一开始就非常无趣。In , a classics professor rediscovered a 4th-century Roman joke book with 260 jokes.年,一位名著教授重新发现了一本4世纪的罗马笑话书籍,共有260条笑话。视频听力栏目译文属。201305/241316。

Step 1 Use pumice1.使用浮石Soak the affected area in soapy water and use the pumice stone to gently buff the tar away from your skin.将沾上焦油的部位浸泡在肥皂水中,使用浮石轻轻地把焦油刮下来。Tip You can purchase soap that contains pumice as an ingredient.小贴士:你可以购买含有浮石成分的肥皂。Step 2 Use mayonnaise or cooking oil2.使用蛋黄酱或食用油Apply mayonnaise or cooking oil to break down and loosen the tar. Then scrub your skin with the pumice stone and wash away any residue.涂抹蛋黄酱或食用油让焦油分解和变松。然后用浮石擦一下皮肤,冲洗干净任何残余物。Step 3 Apply oily product3.使用油性产品Apply an oily product such as baby oil or suntan oil. The oil will break down the tar and allow you to buff it away with the pumice stone.涂抹婴儿油或防晒油等油性产品。油性成分可以分解焦油,然后再用浮石刮掉。Step 4 Apply solvent or lubricant4.使用油剂或润滑油Apply a commercial solvent or lubricant made for removing tacky substances.涂抹用于清除黏性物质的商业油剂或润滑油。Step 5 Dab with gasoline5.用汽油擦Dab your skin with a soft cloth dampened with a small amount of gasoline. Blot the affected area and to wash thoroughly afterwards, as gasoline can be irritating to your skin.用软布浸泡少量汽油来擦皮肤。吸干感染部位,然后彻底清洗,因为汽油会刺激皮肤。201212/212756。

If youre on the phone with someone who doesnt respect your time, heres your way out.如果和你通电话的人不尊重你的时间,你可以用以下方法摆脱。Step 1: Pre-emption1.先发制人If you know its a loud-mouth calling, dont answer. Hopefully he can tell you what he wants via voicemail. Respond when you know he wont pick up or if your voicemail has a reply option respond directly -- voicemail to voicemail.如果你知道是比较八卦的电话,不要接听。他可能会通过语音信箱告诉你他想要做什么。如果他不挂电话,或者如果你的语音信箱有自动应答功能,立即启用——就让语音信箱去应对。Step 2: The Setup2.预警Open with a line like ;Perfect timing! I just happen to have five minutes free right now to talk.;接电话的时候就提前说明,“你打来的真是时候,我现在刚好有五分钟的时间。”Step 3: The Ticking Clock3.计时Keep reminding him how much time you have left. If you know theyre afraid to ask something directly, jump right to the answer.不断提醒他你还有多少时间。如果你知道他们不敢直接问某个问题,你可以直接跳到。Step 4: Gotta Go4.打断Be blunt. Tell them your time is up. If they still dont shut up, interrupt, remind them you have to go, and let him know it you enjoyed talking to them Encourage the caller to e-mail you about any unfinished business.直截了当,告诉他们你没有时间了。如果他们仍然不闭嘴,直接打断,提醒他们你必须挂了,告诉他们很高兴和他们通电话,鼓励来电话的人如果还有任何事可以发电子邮件。Step 5: Fake Emergencies5.找借口If the caller still wont go away, its time for drastic measures.如果打电话的人还不肯挂电话,应该采取一些极端的措施了。Tell them you have a bathroom emergency. Make them think your life is in danger with disaster sound effects. Fake a broken connection; make it convincing by cutting yourself off.告诉他们浴室出了状况。制造出一些灾难一般的声音,让他们认为你的生活中出现了危险。假装电话出现故障,自己切断电话,让人更容易信。Step 6: Dont Fret6.不要苦恼If youre worried about being rude, remember -- the real rude one is the person who wont shut up. And heres a bonus: your display of how important your time is may make callers rethink how they chat on the phone.如果你担心这样太鲁莽了,要记住——真正鲁莽的是喋喋不休不肯闭嘴的人。这样做可能取得比较好的结果:你对时间的重视可能会让打电话的人反思自己喋喋不休是不是错的。Step 7: Done.7.完成。Thanks for watching How To Get Off The Phone With Someone Who Wont Shut Up.感谢收看“怎样应对打电话喋喋不休的人”视频节目。201212/212933。


Chinese Premier Li Keqiang has said that India and China, the two Asian giants, need to establish stronger economic ties.中国总理李克强表示,中国与印度均是亚洲大国,两国应该建立更紧密的经济关系。Li was speaking at an Indian Council of World Affairs in New Delhi during a three-day visit there. Li said China and India are both enormous markets with a major potential for growth, and the two nations’ strengths complement each other. He also said that increasing economic cooperation would lead to growth in both countries.在为期三天的访问中,李克强在新德里的印度世界论坛协会发表演说。李克强说中印双方均属具有很大发展潜力的巨型市场,并且两个国家的优势互补。他还表示,增强两国之间的经济合作将会最终促进双方的经济增长。He noted China and India have very broad space for cooperation and development. China is willing to work with India and other countries of south Asia to play its due role in making Asia a land of peace, development and cooperation. Li stressed that China regards India as an important partner in international affairs.他指出,中方和印方具有广阔的合作发展空间。中方愿意与印方,以及南亚国家一同发挥各自的长处,使亚洲成为和平的,发展的与合作的国度。201305/241056。

当他游过北极后,Lewis Pugh发誓他再也不会在跳入冷水里。然后,他听说了珠穆朗玛峰的映佳湖 -- 一个整个湖水是由冰川融化的在5300米高度的湖面--这里不仅仅教授了他一种新的游泳态度,也教授了他对待气候变暖的新态度。 201203/173976。