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听笑话学英语:two seats 我需要用两个座位在演出即将开始前,一个长得相当粗壮的女士来到戏院,递给引座员两张票引座员问:“请问另一位在哪?” “哦,是这样的”女士脸红着回答,“你看,一个座位对我来说太小了点而且很不舒,所以我买了两张票但这两张票都是给我自己用的” “没关系,女士”引座员抓了抓头说,“但问题是:你的两个座位号码分别是51和63!”。

Birdman Wins Best Picture鸟人获最佳影片奖The film Birdman won Best Picture at the Oscar’s on Sunday. In the award-winning film, Michael Keaton, who is famous his role as Batman (1989 and 199), plays a washed-up Hollywood actor who was once famous his role as a superhero named Birdman. The voice of Birdman torments the actor, and he attempts to reinvent his career by writing, directing, and starring in his own Broadway film. Birdman was edited in a unique way, making it seem as though it was filmed in one take. The film also won Academy Awards best Cinematography, Director, and Screenplay.周日,电影鸟人在年奥斯卡颁奖典礼上获得了最佳影片奖在这部获奖影片中,迈克尔·基顿扮演一名曾经大红大紫的超级英雄鸟人,而如今却是一名过了气的好莱坞演员,基顿曾因扮演蝙蝠侠(1989年和199年)而著名,鸟人的声音一直折磨着演员,他试图通过自编,自导,并担任主演的百老汇影片而咸鱼翻身鸟人是通过特殊的方法编写而成,这让人们觉得他是一次性拍完的此片还获得了奥斯卡最佳摄影、最佳导演以及最佳编剧奖译文属原创,,不得转载 3760。

Jim:Did you hear what happened to the Romeros?吉姆:你听说罗梅罗出事了吗?Helene:No, what?海伦:没有,怎么了?Jim:They went on vacation a week and vandals broke a couple of windows in the back of their house and tagged their living room walls with graffiti.吉姆:他们出外度假一周的时候,房子后面的窗户被坏人砸破,而且客厅墙上还被涂鸦Helene:That terrible!海伦:太可怕了!There are always punks who like to egg houses in this neighborhood fun, but this is much more serious.总是有坏蛋为了好玩在这个社区内毁坏房子,但问题很严重Jim:I think things are getting out of hand.吉姆:我认为事情已经失控Every week or two, we hear of incidents of people having their tires slashed or their cars keyed.每1至个星期,我们总会听闻人们自己的爱车轮胎被割破或钥匙孔被堵死的事件Helene:And the Jamisons had their flowerbeds trampled and a small fire set on their lawn three weeks ago.海伦:而且贾米森一家的花园里惨遭践踏,还有3周前他家草坪上还发生了一场小火灾This neighborhood is really going downhill.这个社区真是正走下坡路Jim:What should we do about it?吉姆:我们该做些什么呢?Helene:What do you mean?海伦:你指的是什么?Jim:I think we should start patrolling the streets at night.吉姆:我认为我们应该在晚上开始巡逻街道Helene:You mean organize a neighborhood watch?海伦:你的意思是组织社区监视活动?Wouldnt that be dangerous?那不会很危险吗?Jim:If youre worried, when you see something suspicious, call the police.吉姆:如果你感到担心,或看到可疑的东西,就叫警察Helene:And you think theyll come in time to catch them?海伦:你认为警察会来得及抓他们吗?The police arent known quick response times in this neighborhood.这个社区的警察的反应速度是出了名的慢啊Jim:Then well go after them ourselves.吉姆:那我们就自己抓他们Helene:You mean be vigilantes? Im not sure that would be wise.海伦:你的意思是义务警员?我觉得这不是很明智Jim:Why not? If Clint Eastwood can do it, so can I. Go ahead, punk, make my day!吉姆:为什么不呢?如果克林特?伊斯特伍德能做到,我也可以上吧,朋克,让我开心! 357。

听笑话学英语:The Bait 把诱饵扔回海里A man and his wife were on a holiday.Theywent a sail. Untunately the wife fell overboard and was drowned. The man asked the pier-master to let him know if her body was found. Two weeks later he received a wire saying: "Body recovered yesterday covered with crabs. Send instructions." The man sent a wire back saying, "Sell crabs, send the money; reset bait."一个男人和妻子去度假他们乘风出海,不幸的是妻子掉入海中淹死了这个男人叫码头的负责人在妻子的尸体找到后通知他一声二个星期后,他接到了一份电报:“尸体已于昨日找到,上边爬满了螃蟹请指示”男人回电报说:“卖掉螃蟹,收入汇过来;诱饵扔回海里” 1。

里弗斯被誉为;美国最幽默的女人;之一她是一位著名的喜剧演员,也是一位有着无数FANS的名嘴,以明星八卦和衣着著称0多年来,这个只会;喋喋不休;的女人是美国人的开心果年过七旬,里弗斯仍然天天肆无忌惮地明星名流的花边八卦事,依然将自己打扮得光鲜亮丽I am not I am not I dont like so much face work.I go to Tennis match I dont like to turn my head back and th because you are ruining tens of thousands of dollars . Hard on churn.我不是我不是这样子,我不喜欢这么多的门面工作我去观看网球比赛的时候自己不喜欢把头扭来扭去,因为这会毁了成千上万的美元实在叫人心痛So I know your next question going to be aly had enough? Everyone is asking me that. Oh, with the surgery. yeah, had enough.所以我知道你的下一个问题将是已经够了吗?每个人都问我哦,做了手术是啊,够了I havent . My good friend is Goldie Hawn I think. Oh,she is yes.我确实还没有我的好朋友是著名搞笑影后戈尔迪bull;霍恩,我想是她哦,肯定就是她She allegedly repose so tight they say when she swallow she has orgasm I dont know . Really. I guess. ought to believe, automatically here is the thing, yeah.她声称面容太紧,他们说在她吞咽的时候甚至引起了极度兴奋,我不知道真的我想是这样应该是这样,毕竟是自动化的东西嘛But it hard an actress to get out do you know what I mean.Because it is very difficult and the same role along sexy. A friend of mine known name , Joan Collins, she has a pacemaker and she went to a white T-shirt contest and she got tuterlage.但是很难让一位女演员离开,你知道我的意思因为找一名同样性感的角色非常困难我的一个朋友认识琼bull;科林斯,她有起搏器,她去参加了一场白色T恤衫大赛,她得到了好成绩Hair, wow,you got to be careful.头发,哇,你也一定要小心But sex you know like I watch your show they all come on they are also gorgeous you know and have my ladies . Sex plays a big part you know that . Betty White I mean we know she came back . Oh, grow up. Really .Betty White?Yeah,suddenly she is back like nobody , come on ask back stage.Didnt know this?但是性感就像我望着你的节目,她们华丽的出场,你知道,女士性感起着很大的作用我知道你明白这点我的意思是贝蒂bull;怀特,我们知道她回来了哦,长大后的她她忽然回来,犹如无人知晓一样,拜托请告诉后台不知道这件事吗?I dont, first time I hear . She is going into the business as Betty. Which at this age is difficult because she cant come back up.我不知道,我第一次听到的她正在进入这个圈子在这种局面下非常困难,因为她不能回来注:听力文本来源于普特 9。

Angie:Ooh, it looks like Joanna has her sights set on you.安琪:哦,看来乔安娜有点对你来电啊Look at how she giving you the eye.瞧瞧,她正对你送秋波呢Kenji:Is she? I hadnt noticed.健二:是吗?我没注意到Angie:Watch out, she usually gets what she wants and she doesnt take no an answer.安琪:小心,她通常会取自己所需,而且单纯一个不字可不能应付Kenji:Im not interested in Joanna at all. She not my type.健二:我对乔安娜不感冒她不是我的菜Angie:Then youre the only one.安琪:你是唯一一个奇葩的Every guy I know thinks she hot.我所认识的所男生都认为她很火辣She has a bunch of them at her beck and call.这群男生全都随她差遣Kenji:Then she wont care if I dont take an interest in her.健二:那我要是不感兴趣她就不在乎了I dont like women who behave as though theyre God gift to men.我不喜欢表现得好像自己是上帝赋予男人恩赐礼物般的女人Angie:Dont look now, but she making a beeline you.安琪:现在不要看,但是她的眼神直奔你来Kenji:Then that my cue to beat a speedy exit.健二:那正是我快速退出的暗示Angie:Are you sure you want to give her the brush off?安琪:你确定你就这样给她个不理不睬?Kenji:Im sure. That one woman I dont want to tangle with.健二:我确信啊我不想跟这样的女人纠缠不清 761。

#6579;Part 3. Family.Keywords. family, extended, nuclear, polygamy, divided, inheritance customs. Vocabulary. polygamy, intact.Listen to the passage, and complete the outline with the inmation you hear.Throught out the history, the basic of almost every human society has been the family.The members of the family live together under the same roof.They share the economic burdens of life as well as its affectional joys, and it is the family which has primary responsibility the important task of raising children to adulthood.The family is not a unim concept in all societies. In many places it is an extended group which includes uncles, aunts, cousins and in-laws.The family head usually has considerable influence in arranging marriages, selecting careers and determining all important moves and purchases by any member of the family,Particularly in conditions where society or the state does not give aid, and where consequently the responsibilities of the family are greater, this larger group provides better protection in times of economic or other emergency.In many other societies, including most industrialized ones, the nuclear family is the basic social .This term refers to a husband and a wife ed through marriage and their dependent children, whether natural or adopted. 50。

Voice 3: ;When we set off on the first (part) of the race, the first shock was the heat. By nine a.m., it was over thirty-two degrees. It reached fifty-two degrees when we were running across the sand (hills). (In the beginning) I did not drink enough water. I finished the (first) day with a headache. I could not imagine six more days of this.;声音3:“我们开始赛跑的第一阶段时,首先令我们震惊的就是酷热上午9点时,沙漠的温度已经超过3度了当我们在沙丘上奔跑时,温度已经达到了5度一开始,我没有喝足够的水我完成第一天的比赛时头很痛我无法想象还要再经过6天的赛程”Voice : ;The land is bad. Really bad. Hard, rocky, sandy, and never-ending. The size of the Sahara desert will scare you if you are smart.;声音:“土地的情况非常糟糕真的非常糟糕土地又硬、岩石又多、又铺满沙子,而且没有尽头即使你很聪明,你也会被撒哈拉沙漠的范围吓到的”Voice 5: ;The wind was (blowing). I could barely see anything. And I was surrounded by ninety metre high sand (hills)... That is when I had (a little) mental breakdown.;声音5:“风一直在吹我几乎什么也看不见我周围是90米高的沙丘那时我的精神有些崩溃了”Voice 6: ;I did the Marathon Des Sables because I thought it would be a (hard) race. I was wrong. It was nearly impossible. Everything (about the marathon) is the (hardest), longest, coldest, hottest.;声音6:“我参加撒哈拉沙漠马拉松是因为我本以为那只是一场艰难的比赛我错了那几乎是不可能完成的比赛这是一场最艰难、最长、最冷又是最热的马拉松”译文属 98。

Selena:Dont look now, but a big group of mothers are coming to this house to give you a piece of their mind.赛琳娜:现在别东张西望的,但一群大妈正赶来这里给你说理Justin:What?! I meant it as a joke. I didnt mean anything by it.贾斯汀:什么?!我的意思是那就只是个笑话我没有特意指什么Selena:Youll have to tell that to Sally. She at the head of the group and she flanked by Maria and Veronica.赛琳娜:你得把这情况跟莎莉明明白白讲清楚她是这个小团体的领头人而且背后有玛丽亚及维罗妮卡持Justin:Oh no, not them. Id rather be confronted by anyone but those three.贾斯汀:噢,不,可不要她们我宁愿面对其中任何人,千万别这三人组Selena:Theyre not the only ones. Theyre backed by a group of at least parents.赛琳娜:并非只有这3人至少有位父母陪伴Justin:Maybe some of those on the periphery are just spectators, waiting to see what the rest of the group will do.贾斯汀:也许有些人只是过来看热闹,等着看其他人会做什么Selena:Dont count on it. They look determined.赛琳娜:别指望了他们看起来意志坚定Justin:Who are those in the back?贾斯汀:后面的始作俑者是谁?Selena:Those bringing up the rear? I think those are a few fathers with a message of their own.赛琳娜:后面撑腰的人?我想是几个人的父亲Justin:What should I do now?贾斯汀:那我现在该做些什么呢?Selena:Start by waving a white flag.赛琳娜:首先,挥舞着一面白旗Justin:And then?贾斯汀:然后呢?Selena:Try a sincere apology, with a healthy dose of groveling.赛琳娜:试着真诚的道歉,记得深鞠躬 39718。