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2019年10月17日 07:22:16来源:康晚报

Wisdom and humour can be found in the strangest places, and for many of us that#39;s the internet.网络里从不缺奇人怪事,还有许多充满智慧与幽默的段子。If that#39;s the case, these hilarious Facebook pages should give you just the lift - and life insight - you need.如果你是这样一个上网爱好者,那就一定不要错过这些搞笑的Facebook主页,不仅能让你开怀一笑,说不定还会在里面得到一些人生经验。From funny thoughts on parenting to cutting observations about office life, there really is something for everyone.这儿有为人父母者的搞笑念头,也有对办公室生活的犀利见解,总有一个合你胃口。Humour meets comics is filled with witty observations about everyday life, including our relationship with others.名叫“Humour meets comics”的主页有许多关于日常生活的幽默吐槽,有时也谈论人际关系。One post s: #39;A wedding ring is the smallest handcuff ever made. Choose your prison mate wisely#39;.有一则写道:“结婚戒指是世界上最小的手铐,在选狱友这件事上你可得放聪明点。”Another adds: #39;It#39;s hard to make friends as an adult because once you#39;re an adult you realize you f****** hate everyone.#39;另一则写道:“长大后发现交朋友很难,因为一旦长大成人你就会觉得每个人都是那么讨厌。”There are countless of #39;Overheard in Waitrose#39; pages out there if you want to have a good chuckle, including one centred around snippets of conversations heard in Waitrose.如果你想好好乐一乐,这里还有一些来自Facebook主页“Overheard in Waitrose”的搞笑段子,其中一个主页主要讲了顾客在Waitrose超市购物时的对话片段。Gems include #39;Darling, there are only two half lobster tails left#39; and #39;If you insist on egging Mr Robertson#39;s house, at least buy the quail eggs#39;.其中有如“亲爱的,这里只有两块龙虾尾了,各剩一半”和“如果你想丢蛋砸罗伯特森先生的房子,好歹买鹌鹑蛋吧”的段子。(嘲讽Waitrose超市价位太高)Any parent will know that raising children brings of a ton of comedy with it. Stacey Gill, posting under the moniker One Funny Motha, uses her experiences of motherhood to brilliant effect.每个家长都知道带孩子这件事可是笑料不断,斯黛西#8226;吉尔以“One Funny Motha”为绰号发了许多做母亲的搞笑体验。Stacey also uses the title of Marie Kondo#39;s hit book on tidying to quip: #39;What if your kids don#39;t spark joy? How do you get rid of them?#39;斯黛西还模仿近藤麻理惠关于收纳整理的热销书名来打趣:“如果你的孩子不能给你带来乐趣怎么办,你该如何摆脱他们呢?”Similarly, Mommy Needs Vodka also provides a comic account of parenting. One post s: #39;It#39;s ;funny; how my kids can#39;t find their shoes but they can find a tiny bit of onion in their dinner#39;.“Mommy Needs Vodka”也是一个有关为人父母的搞笑图片主页。有一则写道:“我的孩子总是找不到自己的鞋子,但他偏偏就能找出菜里的一丁点洋葱,这实在是太‘有意思’了。”Queens of Sass is another account that gives an extremely honest take on life.“Queens of Sass”则是一个对生活诚实吐槽的主页。One post s: #39;I thought I was in a bad mood but it#39;s been a few years now, so I guess this is who I am now#39;.其中一则写道:“我当时以为我只是心情不好而已,但好几年了还是如此,我猜我应该就是这样一个不开心的人吧。”Another recalls an exchange that plenty of us have had: #39; ;We have to hang out this summer;. Me: Yeah for sure.#39; Underneath is a picture of Pinnochio.另有一则回忆了一段大多数人都有过的对话:“‘这个夏天我俩一定得一起出去玩玩’我说:‘啊当然啦。’”下面配上了一张匹诺曹的图片。Meanwhile, Aunty Acid, from Liverpool, provides hilariously witty views from the perspective of a naughty relative.来自利物浦的主页“Aunty Acid”则以一个顽皮的亲戚口吻写了不少逗趣的妙语。One picture s: #39;When I asked God for a smoking hot body, the menopause wasn#39;t quite what I had in mind!#39;这张图片上写道:“我向上帝祈求性感火辣的身材,但更年期就算了吧。”(更年期会让人浑身燥热)The character also writes: #39;Sometimes I like the Facebook versions of people better than the real life version. Anyone else?还有这样一则:“有时我发现,比起现实中的人,Facebook上的人更令我喜欢,你们呢?”Facebook page Now Thats Funny S***!? certainly lives up to its name, posting a mixture of comic es, pictures and memes. One picture features a e from a three-year-old called Millie, who couldn#39;t quite get the words of Queen#39;s Bohemian Rhapsody right. It s: #39;S*** a moose! S*** a moose! Can you have a mango?#39;“Now Thats Funny S***!?”这一账号绝对是名副其实,其中不少内容都是将逗趣语录与搞笑图片结合在一起。比如这一张图片搭配上了三岁女孩米莉的话,她好像不太理解皇后乐队的《波西米亚狂想曲》,“驼鹿拉屎!驼鹿拉屎!你吃芒果吗?”Another photograph employs the use of visual comedy, with the caption: #39;Looks like someone threw caution to the wind#39;.另一张照片颇有视觉喜感,配上的文字是:“看起来似乎有人豁出去了。”The Yorkshire Humour account also uses observational humour to entertain its fans.“Yorkshire Humour”也是一个善于发现生活幽默、粉丝的账号。One post features a photograph with a urinal inside a cubicle - while the toilet is exposed for all to see. The caption simply s: #39;Lancashire Plumbing Services#39;.其中一张照片是小便器在隔间里,但马桶却在外面,配文很简洁:“兰开夏郡管道务”。Meanwhile, a photograph of a luxury sports car dragging a rusty trailer is accompanied by the caption: #39;When you#39;ve won the lottery but you#39;ve still got to clear the s***e out of your garage.#39;还有一张图片是一辆豪华跑车拉着一辆生锈的拖车,配文是:“你中了票,但还得把这些破烂从车库里拉走。”Someecards uses vintage-style cartoons to illustrate its humorous take on the world.“Someecards”这一账号是用复古风的卡通图片搭配幽默吐槽。Nodding off at work is a good thing, according to one of e-card. It s: #39;The only way I can follow my dreams is if I fall asleep during work#39;.某则电子卡片上写着:“只有上班睡着了我才能追逐梦想,”这么看来办公时间打盹也不是坏事。And one very honest card sends this message of affection to a loved one: #39;I promise to do a better job of how much you irritate me#39;.还有一则诚实的卡片对爱人表达了真挚感情:“虽然你很让我恼火,但我保不会让你看出来的。” /201609/464900。

  • Just 10 percent of the 30 million Chinese currently suffering from depression are getting proper medical care due to a lack of psychiatrists and social prejudice against mental illness, experts have said.At a meeting in Shanghai last week, mental health professionals said that China has just 17,000 registered psychiatrists, or one for every 76,000 people.Most Western countries have a 10-times better ratio.Hao Wei, vice-director of the Chinese Psychiatrists' Association, said that more than 60 percent of those currently suffering from depression could greatly benefit from proper medication or professional psychiatric help."But there are just too few doctors available," Hao said, adding that investment in mental healthcare was also insufficient.Hao said that about 25 percent of depression cases are first diagnosed by physicians."We need to help our physician colleagues recognize the early signs of depression, so that they can refer those patients to psychiatric professionals," Hao said.However, the greatest problem, Hao said, comes from society, in the shape of the widesp prejudice people have toward those with mental health problems.Because of public prejudice, many patients are reluctant to visit hospitals specializing in mental care, he said. As a result, 75 percent of all anti-depressants are prescribed by physicians.Some patients are reluctant to take such pills, as they are concerned about the side effects, Hao said.The economic cost of depression, in terms of medical bills and lost manpower, is about 60 billion yuan a year, experts said.A survey conducted recently in Zhejiang and Hebei provinces found that depression was more prevalent in rural communities. Women were also more likely to suffer from it than men, the survey said. 据专家介绍,由于精神治疗医师的缺乏及对于心理疾病社会偏见的存在,在我国目前3000万的抑郁症患者中,仅有10%的人正在接受正规治疗。出席上周在上海召开的某会议的心理健康专家们说,中国目前仅有1万7千名注册心理医师,即每76000人仅有1名心理医生。这一比例在大多数西方国家要高出10倍。中国精神医师协会的副主席郝威说,在目前的抑郁症患者中,超过60%的人通过适当的药物治疗或专业的心理咨询务可以使抑郁症状大大减轻。据他介绍,由于在心理保健方面的投资不够,“这方面的医生太少了。”郝威说,约25%的抑郁症是由内科医生诊断出来的。他说:“我们要帮助内科医师识别判断抑郁症的早期征兆,这样内科医师便可以建议这些病人向精神科医师求助。”然而,最大的问题来自于社会上对于心理疾病患者的广泛歧视和偏见。他说,由于社会歧视的存在,很多病人不愿意去心理疾病专科医院就诊。这造成75%的抗抑郁药物都是由内科医师开具的。有些病人不愿用这些药物,因为他们担心这些药会产生副作用。据专家介绍,从医疗费和损失的人力上来看,抑郁症所造成的年经济损失达到600亿元。浙江省和河北省近日开展的一项调查发现,抑郁症在农村地区更为普遍。而且女性比男性更容易患抑郁症。 /200805/39038。
  • “Everything has been figured out, except how to live.” - Jean-Paul SartreI’m nearly 35 years old, and I’ve made my share of mistakes in my life. I’m not a big believer in regrets … and I have learned tremendously from every single mistake … and my life is pretty great.However, there are a few things I wish I had known when I was graduating from high school and starting out as an adult in life.Would I change things? I’m not so sure. I might never have gotten into a mountain of debt, but then I wouldn’t have learned the amazing satisfaction of getting out of it. I might have made better career choices, but then I wouldn’t have all the work experience that makes me the blogger and writer that I am today.I might not have gotten married that first time, so that I would never have gotten divorced … but then I wouldn’t have my first two beautiful wonderful incredible children from that first marriage.I don’t think I would change any of that. However, looking back, there are some lessons I’ve learned that I would probably tell my 18-year-old self. Do I share them now to share my regrets? No, I share them in hopes that younger men and women, just starting out in life, can benefit from my mistakes and my lessons.What follows isn’t an exhaustive list, but it’s one that I hope proves useful to at least a few people.“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.” - Jack HandeyHow to control impulse spending. If there’s anything that got me in trouble financially, it’s impulse spending. Buying clothes when I don’t need them. Buying gadgets because I gotta have them. Ordering stuff online because it’s so easy. Buying that new shiny SUV because … well, because it was going to help me with women. I’m not proud of any of that. I’ve learned to control my impulses, at least a little better. Now, I give myself some time to breathe. I think over my purchases, see if I’ve got the money, think about whether it’s a need or a want. That would have been a useful tool 15 years ago.You gotta stay active. I was in track, cross country and basketball in high school, but once I started college, the running and basketball began to slowly fade away. Not right away — I played pick-up basketball for years after high school. But even that went away, until I became sedentary. Playing with my kids outdoors winded me. And I began to get fat. I’ve reversed that trend, and am very active now, but I’m still trying to burn the fat I gained in those inactive years.How to plan finances. I always knew that I was supposed to budget and track my spending, when I became an adult. I just was too lazy to do it. And I didn’t have a good idea of how to actually do it. Now, I’ve learned how to plan, and how to stick to that plan. Sure, I deviate from my plan, but I’ve learned how to handle that too. Maybe that’s not a skill you can learn from book ing. You just gotta practice. Well, I hope to teach it to my children before they go out on their own.Junk food will come back to bite you in the butt. Yeah, it wasn’t just the sedentary lifestyle that got me fat. It was all the damn junk food too. I would eat pizza and burgers and Twinkies and sugar cereal and desserts and donuts and … well, you get the picture. As someone used to being able to eat whatever I wanted, it never seemed like it would be a problem. Bad health was something to worry about when you got old. Well, my jeans began to get way too tight, and to my horror, I climbed several pants sizes and developed a gut that only now is going away. I wish someone had shown me an “after” picture when I was young and downing the Big Gulp sodas.Smoking is just dumb. I didn’t start smoking until I was well into my adult years. I won’t go into why I started, but it didn’t seem like a problem, because I knew I could quit anytime I wanted. Or I thought I could, at least, until several years later I gave it a go and couldn’t do it. Five failed quits later and I realized with horror that my addiction was stronger than I was. Sure, I eventually beat the habit (quit date: Nov. 18, 2005) but it took a piece of my soul to do it.Fund your retirement, son. And don’t withdraw it. This piece of wisdom, and probably all the ones above, might seem blisteringly obvious. And they are. Don’t think I didn’t know this when I was 18. I did. I just didn’t pay it serious attention. Retirement was something I could worry about when I was in my 30s. Well, I’m in my 30s now and I wish I could slap that little 18-year-old Leo around a bit. What money I could have invested by now! I had a retirement plan, but on the 3 occasions when I changed jobs, I withdrew that and spent it frivolously.All the stuff you’re doing that seems hard — it will be of use. This is the first one that might not be as obvious. There were times in my life when work was hard, and I did it anyway, but hated it. I did it because I had to, but boy did it stress me out and leave me exhausted. Hard work isn’t as easy as I wanted it to be. But you know what? Every bit of hard work I did without knowing why I was doing it … it’s paid off for me in the long run. Maybe not right away, but I’m using skills and habits I learned during those times of high stress and long hours and tedious work — I use them all the time, and they’ve made me into the person I am today. Thank you, younger Leo!Don’t buy that used van without checking it out closely. I thought I was being smart by buying used, but I didn’t check it out carefully enough. That dang van had loads of engine problems, a door that nearly fell off when I was driving, a door handle that snapped off, a side mirror that fell off, no spare tire despite three tires that were y to blow (and did), windows that didn’t roll up, rattling noises, an eventual blown radiator … I could go on and on, but let’s just say that it wasn’t my best purchase. I still think buying used is smart, but check things out closely first.That guy you’re going to sell your car to? On a gentleman’s agreement? He’s not gonna pay you. I sold another car to a friend of a friend, who I was sure would pay me even if I had nothing in writing. That was smart. I still see the guy once in awhile on the road, but I don’t have the energy to do a U-turn and chase after him.Make time to pursue your passion, no matter how busy you are. I’ve always wanted to be a writer, and get a book published. I just never had time to write. With a family and school and a full-time job, there just weren’t enough hours in the day. Well, I’ve learned that you have to make those hours. Set aside a block of time to do what you love, cut out other stuff from your life that take up your time, and don’t let anything interfere with that work. If I had done that 15 years ago, I could have 15 books written by now. Not all would be great, but still.All that stuff that’s stressing you out — it won’t matter in 5 years, let alone 15. When things are happening to you right now, they mean all the world. I had deadlines and projects and people breathing down my neck, and my stress levels went through the roof. I don’t regret the hard work (see above) but I think I would have been less stressed if I could have just realized that it wouldn’t matter a single bit just a few years down the road. Perspective is a good thing to learn.The people you make friends with are so much more important than your job or the things you buy. I’ve had a few jobs, I’ve bought a lot of things, and I’ve made a few friends over these last 15 years. Of those, the only thing that still matter to me are the friends. And I wish I could have spent more time with friends (and family) than on the other things.All that time you spend watching TV is a huge, huge waste of time. I don’t know how much TV I’ve watched over the years, but it’s a crapload. Hours and days and weeks I’ll never have back. Who cares what happens on reality TV, when reality is slipping by outside? Time is something you’ll never get back — don’t waste it on TV.Your kids are going to grow up way faster than you think. Don’t waste a minute. I just had an Oh My God moment recently. My oldest daughter, Chloe, is 14 going on 15 next month. I have 3 years left with her before she leaves my house and becomes an adult. Three years! I am floored by that single fact, because it really doesn’t seem anywhere near enough time. I want to go back to my younger self and whack that younger Leo on the head and say Stop working so hard! Stop watching TV! Spend more time with your kids! These last 15 years with Chloe (and my other wonderful kids) have gone by much, much too fast.Forget the drama. Focus on being happy. There have been many things that have happened to me, professionally and personally, that seem like the end of the world. And while these things were bad, they get blown up in our heads so that they become major drama. They caused me to be depressed from time to time. What a waste of time. If I realized that it was all in my head, and that I could be happy instead if I focused on the positive, on what I did have, and what I could be doing … I could have skipped all the moping about.Pay more attention to blogs when you first hear about them. They’re more than just journals. I first about blogs 7-8 years ago, but when I took a look at them they didn’t seem like anything of interest. Just some people’s journals about stuff they on the web. Why would I want to those? I have my own thoughts about the web, but I don’t need to share them with the world. I spent a lot of time on the Internet, on various sites and forums, but every time I happened upon a blog I would brush past it without interest. It wasn’t until a couple years ago that I discovered what wonderful things they could be (I mentioned some of my early favorites in my list of influences). If I had gotten into blogging years ago … well, I wouldn’t have been wasting all that time.Speaking of which, keep a journal. Seriously. Your memory is extremely faulty. I forget things really easily. Not short-term stuff, but long-term. I don’t remember things about my kids’ early years, because I didn’t record any of it. I don’t remember things about my life. It’s like a lot of foggy memories that I’ll never have access to. I wish I had kept a journal.Tequila is seriously evil. I won’t go into details, but it should suffice to say that I had some bad experiences, and I’m not sure I learned very much from them or benefited in any way except to learn that tequila is the drink of the Devil.Yes, you can do a marathon. Don’t put this goal off — it’s extremely rewarding. Running a marathon had always been a dream of mine, since high school … something I wanted to do but thought was out of reach. Or if I ever did it, it would be years and years later. Well, I learned that it’s not only achievable, it’s incredibly rewarding. I wish I had started training when I was young and light and fit … I could have had some good finishing times!All these mistakes you’re going to make, despite this advice? They’re worth it. My 18-year-old self would probably have this post and said, “Good advice!” And then he would have proceeded to make the same mistakes, despite good intentions. I was a good kid, but I wasn’t good at following advice. I had to make my own mistakes, and live my own life. And that’s what I did, and I don’t regret a minute of it. Every experience I’ve had (even the tequila ones) have led me down the path of life to where I am today. I love where I am today, and wouldn’t trade it for another life for all the world. The pain, the stress, the drama, the hard work, the mistakes, the depression, the hangovers, the debt, the fat … it was all worth it.“Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.” - Mark Twain /200804/34785。
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